There's blessing in being single or being married

I hear someone speak about Proverbs 18:22 on a popular Christian, family radio show. I was taken aback. I know that the family is valued by this particular show, but I actually haven't listened to it for years because of their propensity to idolize elements of the family. The particular commentator said that it is the parents' job to encourage their adult sons to find a wife as soon as possible. She used Proverbs 18:22 as her rational. Of course, the shows host agreed.

I'm fearful that it is very possible to abuse Proverbs 18:22. Yes, it says that finding a wife is a good thing. Yes, it says their is favor of the Lord in finding a wife. And I'd agree, there is favor and blessing in a wife.

On the other hand, this by no means is a command for parents or the church to encourage people to marry. Compared that idea with 1 Corinthians 7:8. In that verse, Paul clearly reverses the challenge saying if you are unmarried, you are better off to stay unmarried unless (v. 9) you cannot control yourself. Self control is as much a with the favor of the Lord as finding a wife. Singleness is as much a blessing as marriage. If your adult child does not pursue a marriage partner, rejoice and help them to use their singleness as a way of being free to serve the Lord with their whole life.

There are a lot of Christian broadcasters on the airwaves with a very narrow way of looking at the Scriptures. They are narrow because they value certain things. I'd challenge parents to look at the Bible in its entirety. With out and eye to the fullness of Scripture, values can become idols.

Parents, when it comes to preparing for college, Relax!

Tim Clydesdale, a sociology professor at the College of NJ who has spoken to parents at our church, sent me this article today. It is great and deserves notice by parents.

In the article Jay Matthews of the Washington Post echos a statement that Clydesdale made at Grace Point last May. That is, the quality of school you attend doesn't greatly predict your future. The implication for parents and school administrators should be relax. I've had way too many discussions with parents about what they are putting their children through in order to get them to the best college. Pushing them into the highest level courses, extra tutoring when they struggle to get A's in those classes, adding multiple demanding extra curricular, and many other tricks that they thing will help to build their child's resume. None of these things is wrong in moderation and in the right manner, but what I witness is too many youth who are over stressed and, worse yet, have their identity wrapped up in their success.

I followed Mr. Matthews' example and thought of a few people that I've greatly admired over the last 15 years and looked up their colleges. In my list are people I've worked for, studied under, enjoyed their music, recognized their accomplishment as overcomers, read their books and follow their blogs.  The colleges represented on this list are as follows (in particular order): 2 at Michigan, Friends University, California San Diego, Reed College, Stanford, Wheaton and Augustana. Of those, two did not receive degrees. One only audited classes and another left to start his career.

So my challenge to parents, as well as school leaders, is to help children understand their real value. Ultimately that is in a relationship to Jesus Christ, but even within that relationship you children, all of them, have something unique that they need to develop. A university may be a part of that, but not likely the tell-tale part of what they can accomplish. Education is important, but education can come in so many different ways. Build a great relationship with your children. Help them to develop other relationships with mentors who will provide guidance. Provide for your children opportunities to experience things bigger or different than them. Foster their spirits. These will help your children to succeed much more than stretching them to a point that they end up in schools that don't really help them in the end.

Beware the great danger of the suburbs

Did you notice the great danger in your suburban neighborhood?  Dave Gibbon has.  I've been concerned for some time about this danger.

The suburban enclaves with their middle class citizens and well- manicured lawns, gates, and guards protecting our Orwellian lifestyle and toys, Starbucks a few minutes apart from each busy intersection, and boasting some of the best schools in the country may actually be the most dangerous locations to live. Okay, we may not have the high murder counts or robberies, but I wonder if the suburbs have become breeding grounds for the accessible and shallow thrills of drugs and alcohol abuse, extravagant parties and proms, and mere facades of happiness and the American Dream. Just ask your local city drug dealer about his primary consumers. . . suburban teenagers and college students.

Okay, I’m not a researcher, but my gut impression from my travels and intersection with youth in the major cities of the world as well as the suburbs and rural communities is that they are all equally dangerous but just in different ways.

The dangers of the suburbs entail the lack of imagination (where do you find real art museums, innovative music venues and creative opportunities to explore nature. Sure there are exceptions but it’s not the norm); materialism; greed; isolation behind cookie-cutter neighborhoods and homogeneous clubs and churches; boredom: apathy; the fascination with the relevant more than the real; a love affair with popularity more than loving the poor; and a thirst for excitement superficially satisfied in the Friday night party. This takes precedence over a dangerous ride with God on the frontlines of His movement.

Perfect love, fear and risk

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
1 John 4:18

If my ministry is ruled by fear, then it is not formed by God's love.  I admit, too often, I do what I do because I don't want to loose what I have.  But, I have nothing accept the life that is given me be God and in Christ.  Therefore, if I act in love, I can risk everything.  I should be willing to risk everything!

What has fear kept you from risking today?