Dear Friends,
Thanks for continuing to follow me.
With the start of my new ministry, Etchea Coaching, my blog location has moved. Please update you links and feeds. The new location is http://etchea.com/blog/. The RSS is http://etchea.com/feed/. As I open this blog, I'll be writing more posts, consistently. The posts will also be directed to issues of discipleship, family and family ministry leadership.
Blessings in 2013.
Steve
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
The pastoral metaphor
Gordon MacDonald has a great article on CT this morning. He walks pastors through what it means to be a shepherd of their flock. I love the shepherd metaphor. It is so much better than the CEO metaphor that we have been using in the church. In the next few months, I hope to work on the Christian leader metaphor some more. While I like shepherd, I also see that we need to return to a parenting role as Christian leaders. MacDonald lists the characteristics of the Apostle Paul's leadership at the close of the article. I'll relist them here. MacDonald sees these as characteristics of "guarding the flock." I conclude these are the same characteristics that make one a father or mother of the family of God.
You'll notice that organizer, programmer visionary, and change agent aren't listed here. That's because those aren't primary tasks for Christian leaders. God is the visionary/change agent. Relationship is the program that we should organize our churches around.How Paul Guarded The Flock
As I made my way through Paul's letters, I saw, once again, that he was a missionary-apostle (church planter), a theologian, a developer of leaders. But most important, Paul was a shepherd-pastor. He clearly understood-like the shepherd of Psalm 23-the significance of congregational feeding and protection. Here's how Paul practiced what he preached about guarding the flock.Affirming: quick to identify evidences of God's work in persons and peoples;Thankful: ready to express gratitude for any act of generosity;Corrective: never reluctant to identify sin and rebuke it;Prophetic: warning of consequences if people were bent on making bad choices;Instructive: enlarging the theological base of peoples' faith;Protective: quick to defend those who were vulnerable;Transparent: unashamed to speak of his own weaknesses and sins;Affectionate: anxious for people to know how much he loved them;Prayerful: frequently praying "aloud" in his letters for people and their needs;Developmental: identifying, raising up those who might become leaders;Observable: presenting a model of the Christ-following life that others could copy. -GMac
Sunday, September 09, 2012
Time-Card Christians v. Orchestrated Ministry
This post doesn't have anything to do with Christians punching their card. I'm writing about the interchangeability of members.
Most churches I know about tend to treat their people like time cards and their ministries like the slots in the rack.
It doesn't matter which card I put into which slot, just so each slot has a card and each card has a slot. We design ministries that make this interchangeability possible. When I was a children's pastor, I remember a curriculum that advertised, "So easy to use that it doesn't matter who shows up." Of course, I bought it. We were a fast growing church and part of the goal of the church was to add more ministries so nobody's need would go unmet. I was desperate.
It wasn't good ministry. I'd say that was one of my weakest seasons of ministry. Responding to the needs and the slot rather than strengthening the saints to use their gifts in ministry.
Ministry should be more artistic than that. Leaders should allow the gifts of the people to guide the form of the ministry. That doesn't mean that every member can pick their own role. It means that leaders should prayerfully sit back and notice how God is orchestrating the ministry.
In fact, we should look at our ministries as an orchestra. Not every orchestra has the same kinds musicians or the same strengths, but a good conductor chooses music that emphasizes the strengths of each musician, pushing some to improve and allowing weaker musicians to fill the background until they recognize their style and strength.
Orchestras combine the gifts of many to make good music. Time cards just sit their on the wall until someone finally gets to go home.
It doesn't matter which card I put into which slot, just so each slot has a card and each card has a slot. We design ministries that make this interchangeability possible. When I was a children's pastor, I remember a curriculum that advertised, "So easy to use that it doesn't matter who shows up." Of course, I bought it. We were a fast growing church and part of the goal of the church was to add more ministries so nobody's need would go unmet. I was desperate.
It wasn't good ministry. I'd say that was one of my weakest seasons of ministry. Responding to the needs and the slot rather than strengthening the saints to use their gifts in ministry.
Ministry should be more artistic than that. Leaders should allow the gifts of the people to guide the form of the ministry. That doesn't mean that every member can pick their own role. It means that leaders should prayerfully sit back and notice how God is orchestrating the ministry.
In fact, we should look at our ministries as an orchestra. Not every orchestra has the same kinds musicians or the same strengths, but a good conductor chooses music that emphasizes the strengths of each musician, pushing some to improve and allowing weaker musicians to fill the background until they recognize their style and strength.
Orchestras combine the gifts of many to make good music. Time cards just sit their on the wall until someone finally gets to go home.
Wednesday, August 08, 2012
Christ never demands that we be leader
"Do not be called leaders; for One is your Leader, that is, Christ." -Matthew 23:10 (NASB)Tomorrow thousands of church leaders from around the world will participate in an annual event where they will be challenged to become great leaders. That's fine, I guess. In their time they will hear challenges from people who have built giant organizations and super-sized churches, are called leadership gurus, and who have led nations into war. But will they learn what it means to be what Christ is calling them to be?
In the Gospels, the term leader never refers to any human in completely positive terms. Jesus is the only positively referenced as the leader. The closest it comes to lifting up human leadership is the encouragement for those who wish to be leaders to be servants. Sadly, many Christian leaders consider this to be a pathway to leadership. "If I serve my organization well, them I am a leader," they say.
They are wrong. That's only a path to disingenuous servanthood.
The church today doesn't need more leaders. It needs more disciples. People who honestly follow Christ in all things. The true leaders among them will be those who, as disciples, share Christ's story and their own story in Christ with the next generation whether the next generation is chronologically younger or spiritually younger.
My advice...Don't follow the people whose life goal is to be the great leader. Follow those whose goal is to follow the One Leader.
Lord, make me a follower, and make me happy to be so.
Wednesday, March 07, 2012
Spring Hope
with my dog
Only a flannel to keep me warmThe King is all around me
He calls to me
In the song of a cardinal
The rattle of a woodpecker
And the silence of newly budded leaves
There is hope
All is new this morning
Chee burger chee burger chee burger chee
He speaks through a Carolina Wren
There is hope
But I still have to clean up my dogs mess.
Monday, February 27, 2012
I believe something weird
Yesterday a well meaning and good man asked me a question that was harder to answer than I thought. As such, I've been thinking about it for the whole day today. He asked me if I believe in anything weird. I do.
I believe that there is a God. A being bigger than me, bigger than this universe, bigger than time, and active in all those things.
I believe that this God created the universe, this world and me. He created it in the perfect time and perfect order according to his will. That's weird. He did it all for his own glory and that wasn't arrogant. It was, in fact, quite natural for him and loving, too. That's weird.
He created people and put them in this universe on this world. He created us in his own image, male and female, both. That's weird enough, but that image has power as it carries with it the rights and responsibility to represent him in this world. That's weird.
Do I believe anything weird? I believe that all those made in his image are also flawed. Not flawed in the way he made us, but flawed in the way that we think we can make ourselves as powerful and knowledgable as God himself. We are flawed despite being the image of a perfect God. That's weird.
I believe that all people are made for relationship, but, in those relationship, our natural actions are often destructive. We tend to destroy our relationship with the loving God who created us, and we tend to destroy our relationships with the people around us. We do that because the thing that we need most--love--is overrun by the thing that we want most--power. That's weird because if we love God and love people, God's power will enable us to do much more than all the power of this world could ever enable us to do.
I believe that the best way to love someone, no matter you gender, age or position is to submit to the other person. Humility is always more strengthening than self confidence. That's weird and seems like foolishness to most people, but God says and demonstrates that it is wise.
I believe that the fix for all broken relationships--between people and God and between people and other people--comes through God, and the fact that God, who is not man, became a man, humbled himself to the lowest point of manhood, submitted to the will of the worst kind of men, and died because of it. That's really weird.
I believe that the dead man, who was God, didn't stay dead, but, on his own power, came back to life. That's weird because how does something that is dead (powerless?) have the power to do the impossible? I don't know. Yes, it is weird. But I believe it because I've experienced it.
I believe that I am a testimony of that power, because I am dead on my own. I have no power within me. I have killed myself in my own selfishness, but I see God making life out of my death. I see God making strength out of my weakness. The new strength within me are not mine to use for me, but mine to give to other people. It isn't mine, because it belong to God, Spirit and the to those on earth that he has call, the Church. When I think they are mine, I use them in the wrong way and they become weaknesses to me. This whole thing about my strengths being my weaknesses and my weaknesses being my strengths is really weird, and o so frustrating.
I believe that events that are best for me are the ones that I most like to avoid. Pain is a path to growth, but seldom do I grow from being comfortable. Still, I almost always want to be comfortable. It is for that reason that I believe that the people who should be given the most attention in this world are the lowest one, the poor, the handicapped, the disenfranchised, and the children. The natural tendency is to want to learn from those who have become strong on their own power, those who run big organization and have powerful jobs or write important books, but more often we can learn from the simple people in this world if we stop to listen to them and experience the place where they live. That's weird and doesn't sell real well.
I do believe some weird stuff.
I believe that a husband, long before they even considers telling his wife that he's in charge and she should listen to him, should give 100% of his love and even his life for his wife because that is what God did for him. I believe long before church leaders demand followers follow them, they should sacrifice all that they have for those who would be their followers. I believe that men in the churches should do everything to help women and children in their company to use every gift that God gives them to empower them for doing what God would have them to do. I believe that a father's first responsibility is to give his children hope that they would not be bitter. That's uncomfortable, and weird.
At the same time, I believe that children need to honor their parents through obedience, not obedience demanded, but obedience taught and demonstrated. A wife need to submit to her husband, not because her husband demands it, but because it is right. A woman in the church needs to submit to men, not because it is a commandment, but because it will bring peace. That's weird too. Shouldn't women and children have just as much right to demand their rights? They should. But everyone's rights are more quickly served when everyone is looking out for the good of other people. Men should be loudly demanding the rights be given to women and children. That's weird.
I believe that even with all of this kind of thinking and teaching, people will inevitably be selfish and act in ways that are destructive. But that doesn't faze God. The free will of people (and I believe that humans all have completely free wills) will never disrupt the perfect plan of God. It will make his plan keener and wiser. That's weird because we think like people, not like God.
I believe that God's perfect plan is to destroy this world as we know it and raise up a new, perfect world. I don't know what that means, because I'm not God, nor has he made humans privy to the fullness of knowledge of what that mean. Again that’s weird.
At the same time, he promise that in his lovingness he will judge all people. We are all guilty and the penalty of this guilt is death and torment. I don't know what that means either, because it's too big for me to know. Still, it doesn't sound good. It sound weird. But in God's perfect and glorious ways, I believe that it will be holy and good.
Not everyone gets that judgment. Not because anyone is worthy of something else. None of us are. Those who don't get that judgment are those who chose to have faith in the work of Jesus done on the Cross. That sure seems like a weird way for me to escape judgment, but I believe that it does. Weirder yet is that it all happens because I chose to follow Christ because he chose for me to follow him. I don't get that. It's weird. But I believe it.
I believe that those who are chosen won't go to some far off place called heaven. They we stay no earth. But not like this earth. It will be a new earth, or a renewed earth. It will be glorious. Weird? Yes. And we won't be in some angel like bodies or even ghostly bodies. We will be in these bodies. These bodies will be made new, and perfect. Even if the body has already be destroyed, God will make it new again. I can tell you, that's weird.
I believe all this weirdness because I'm a testimony of the fact that it is true. I have experience the transformation that tells me it is true, but not just because I am a testimony. I believe it because God has preserved his specific testimony in a special way. That testimony, the story of God and his love, is the Bible. It is whole and complete and always good for teaching me and all other people who God is and how each of us belongs in his story.
I believe that there is a God. A being bigger than me, bigger than this universe, bigger than time, and active in all those things.
I believe that this God created the universe, this world and me. He created it in the perfect time and perfect order according to his will. That's weird. He did it all for his own glory and that wasn't arrogant. It was, in fact, quite natural for him and loving, too. That's weird.
He created people and put them in this universe on this world. He created us in his own image, male and female, both. That's weird enough, but that image has power as it carries with it the rights and responsibility to represent him in this world. That's weird.
Do I believe anything weird? I believe that all those made in his image are also flawed. Not flawed in the way he made us, but flawed in the way that we think we can make ourselves as powerful and knowledgable as God himself. We are flawed despite being the image of a perfect God. That's weird.
I believe that all people are made for relationship, but, in those relationship, our natural actions are often destructive. We tend to destroy our relationship with the loving God who created us, and we tend to destroy our relationships with the people around us. We do that because the thing that we need most--love--is overrun by the thing that we want most--power. That's weird because if we love God and love people, God's power will enable us to do much more than all the power of this world could ever enable us to do.
I believe that the best way to love someone, no matter you gender, age or position is to submit to the other person. Humility is always more strengthening than self confidence. That's weird and seems like foolishness to most people, but God says and demonstrates that it is wise.
I believe that the fix for all broken relationships--between people and God and between people and other people--comes through God, and the fact that God, who is not man, became a man, humbled himself to the lowest point of manhood, submitted to the will of the worst kind of men, and died because of it. That's really weird.
I believe that the dead man, who was God, didn't stay dead, but, on his own power, came back to life. That's weird because how does something that is dead (powerless?) have the power to do the impossible? I don't know. Yes, it is weird. But I believe it because I've experienced it.
I believe that I am a testimony of that power, because I am dead on my own. I have no power within me. I have killed myself in my own selfishness, but I see God making life out of my death. I see God making strength out of my weakness. The new strength within me are not mine to use for me, but mine to give to other people. It isn't mine, because it belong to God, Spirit and the to those on earth that he has call, the Church. When I think they are mine, I use them in the wrong way and they become weaknesses to me. This whole thing about my strengths being my weaknesses and my weaknesses being my strengths is really weird, and o so frustrating.
I believe that events that are best for me are the ones that I most like to avoid. Pain is a path to growth, but seldom do I grow from being comfortable. Still, I almost always want to be comfortable. It is for that reason that I believe that the people who should be given the most attention in this world are the lowest one, the poor, the handicapped, the disenfranchised, and the children. The natural tendency is to want to learn from those who have become strong on their own power, those who run big organization and have powerful jobs or write important books, but more often we can learn from the simple people in this world if we stop to listen to them and experience the place where they live. That's weird and doesn't sell real well.
I do believe some weird stuff.
I believe that a husband, long before they even considers telling his wife that he's in charge and she should listen to him, should give 100% of his love and even his life for his wife because that is what God did for him. I believe long before church leaders demand followers follow them, they should sacrifice all that they have for those who would be their followers. I believe that men in the churches should do everything to help women and children in their company to use every gift that God gives them to empower them for doing what God would have them to do. I believe that a father's first responsibility is to give his children hope that they would not be bitter. That's uncomfortable, and weird.
At the same time, I believe that children need to honor their parents through obedience, not obedience demanded, but obedience taught and demonstrated. A wife need to submit to her husband, not because her husband demands it, but because it is right. A woman in the church needs to submit to men, not because it is a commandment, but because it will bring peace. That's weird too. Shouldn't women and children have just as much right to demand their rights? They should. But everyone's rights are more quickly served when everyone is looking out for the good of other people. Men should be loudly demanding the rights be given to women and children. That's weird.
I believe that even with all of this kind of thinking and teaching, people will inevitably be selfish and act in ways that are destructive. But that doesn't faze God. The free will of people (and I believe that humans all have completely free wills) will never disrupt the perfect plan of God. It will make his plan keener and wiser. That's weird because we think like people, not like God.
I believe that God's perfect plan is to destroy this world as we know it and raise up a new, perfect world. I don't know what that means, because I'm not God, nor has he made humans privy to the fullness of knowledge of what that mean. Again that’s weird.
At the same time, he promise that in his lovingness he will judge all people. We are all guilty and the penalty of this guilt is death and torment. I don't know what that means either, because it's too big for me to know. Still, it doesn't sound good. It sound weird. But in God's perfect and glorious ways, I believe that it will be holy and good.
Not everyone gets that judgment. Not because anyone is worthy of something else. None of us are. Those who don't get that judgment are those who chose to have faith in the work of Jesus done on the Cross. That sure seems like a weird way for me to escape judgment, but I believe that it does. Weirder yet is that it all happens because I chose to follow Christ because he chose for me to follow him. I don't get that. It's weird. But I believe it.
I believe that those who are chosen won't go to some far off place called heaven. They we stay no earth. But not like this earth. It will be a new earth, or a renewed earth. It will be glorious. Weird? Yes. And we won't be in some angel like bodies or even ghostly bodies. We will be in these bodies. These bodies will be made new, and perfect. Even if the body has already be destroyed, God will make it new again. I can tell you, that's weird.
I believe all this weirdness because I'm a testimony of the fact that it is true. I have experience the transformation that tells me it is true, but not just because I am a testimony. I believe it because God has preserved his specific testimony in a special way. That testimony, the story of God and his love, is the Bible. It is whole and complete and always good for teaching me and all other people who God is and how each of us belongs in his story.
Thursday, February 02, 2012
Sunday, December 25, 2011
It's not about a baby. It's about a King.
“Glory to God in the highest heaven,
and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.” Lk 2:14
The Nativity story isn't so much about a baby's birthday as it is the covert beginnings of a King moving his pieces into place to begin to take back his territory. With the birth of Jesus, the manger became the first piece of land where the Kingdom of God was established. The good news is that the Kingdom is still expanding today.
The soldiers of this great war aren't the king's guard or great warriors but the smelly, disheveled shepherds and anyone else who is willing to hear the good news and go worship the King.
The tools used to fight this war aren't weapons of death, but a message of peace.
This year join the work of the Kingdom. Lay down your weapons of war so you can the King in sharing this message of Peace.
Friday, August 12, 2011
The idol of acceptance and popularity
Way too many Christians put popularity ahead of their obedience to Christ. This is absolutely evident in the number of youth who walk away from their faith when they no longer fit in a youth group. It is equally evident in the fact that youth groups are often, maybe even in my church, a place that youth feel more popular. I know this is often the goal of church leaders and parents. They hope that youth group is a place where the young Christians can find acceptance with their peers.
That doesn't seem too wrong. We want our children to be accepted by Christian peers rather than be lost in the wrong crowd. The problem is that when that is the goal of youth group, the real purpose of the church is lost. The only valid purpose of the church is to hold one another up as we glorify God and spread his light to the world.
Glorifying God is not popular.
I have a challenge that hit me this week. Name one person in the Bible that God told to become popular and through politics of the day quietly bit by bit, with great sensitivity to the will of others develop a popular and comfortable community that glorifies God.
I can't think of one. The closest I can come up with is Esther. Her challenge from Mordecia was to gain political power to save the people of Israel. While this could be seen as a move to become political for a godly goal, the fact is that Esther didn't do what was popular. She stuck her neck out in great risk of becoming unpopular with the king. The fact that it worked was a blessing from God because of her obedience.
Of course in 1 Kings 12, the elders of Israel advised Rehoboam to lighten the tax load on the people after Solomon's expensive reign. One might interpret this as a step to make him more popular, but you'll see as that text progresses that the issue of seeking popularity is the downfall of Rehoboam. He was seeking to be popular among his peers. The elder's goal was less about popularity and more about wisdom of the moment.
As a follower of Christ and leader in a church, my goal cannot be about popularity. My goal is about obedience. Both my personal obedience to Christ and teaching others to be obedient. Church growth should be a natural outcome as more people obey Christ, but I cannot confuse the idol of acceptance with obedience in faith.
That doesn't seem too wrong. We want our children to be accepted by Christian peers rather than be lost in the wrong crowd. The problem is that when that is the goal of youth group, the real purpose of the church is lost. The only valid purpose of the church is to hold one another up as we glorify God and spread his light to the world.
Glorifying God is not popular.
I have a challenge that hit me this week. Name one person in the Bible that God told to become popular and through politics of the day quietly bit by bit, with great sensitivity to the will of others develop a popular and comfortable community that glorifies God.
I can't think of one. The closest I can come up with is Esther. Her challenge from Mordecia was to gain political power to save the people of Israel. While this could be seen as a move to become political for a godly goal, the fact is that Esther didn't do what was popular. She stuck her neck out in great risk of becoming unpopular with the king. The fact that it worked was a blessing from God because of her obedience.
Of course in 1 Kings 12, the elders of Israel advised Rehoboam to lighten the tax load on the people after Solomon's expensive reign. One might interpret this as a step to make him more popular, but you'll see as that text progresses that the issue of seeking popularity is the downfall of Rehoboam. He was seeking to be popular among his peers. The elder's goal was less about popularity and more about wisdom of the moment.
As a follower of Christ and leader in a church, my goal cannot be about popularity. My goal is about obedience. Both my personal obedience to Christ and teaching others to be obedient. Church growth should be a natural outcome as more people obey Christ, but I cannot confuse the idol of acceptance with obedience in faith.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Leadership and Marketing: Are they the same?
Interact with me on this thought…
Marketers give people what they want. Leaders give people what they need.
I wonder if marketing is often confused for leading in a consumer-driven, populous society. In a couple days, I'll be attending the Willow Creek leadership Summit. I don't like this event but I go because my leadership team supports it and because I want to help them to interact with the different concepts that are shared their. I don't like it, because, in the end, I don't feel that the Summit trains leaders but marketers.
One speaker at this summit is a marketer named Seth Godin. I'm enjoy reading Seth Godin's books and his blog. I feel that Seth has a lot of excellent thoughts that should be considered by church leaders. However, recently, I haven't been so enthralled about what he has to say. My concern is that I have been drawn into the church leader as church marketer mentality. Godin constantly talks about getting people what they want.
What people want is often not what's good for them. I want a Rita's water ice right now. One was custard in it. But I don't need it. In fact it would be bad for me in the sense that I'm already overweight and I don't need the extra calories.
In many ways, the contemporary church is overweight. It's over program and most of these programs focus on giving people what they want, not good discipleship. Granted, the church, as a fully volunteer organization, must rely on people wanting to be a part of the organization. But maybe that's the problem right there; too many people are attracted to an organization before they are attracted to faith in Jesus Christ.
So am I right on this one? Is the job of a leader to give people what they want? Where is the job of the leader to give people what they need? Maybe it's a combination of both? What they want leads into what they need. But then I wonder, how do leaders know how to make turn from what they want to what they need so that the people are willing to move away from just the thing that they want. Is there any value in giving me a Rita's water ice but telling me what I really need is a well-balanced diet?
Marketers give people what they want. Leaders give people what they need.
I wonder if marketing is often confused for leading in a consumer-driven, populous society. In a couple days, I'll be attending the Willow Creek leadership Summit. I don't like this event but I go because my leadership team supports it and because I want to help them to interact with the different concepts that are shared their. I don't like it, because, in the end, I don't feel that the Summit trains leaders but marketers.
One speaker at this summit is a marketer named Seth Godin. I'm enjoy reading Seth Godin's books and his blog. I feel that Seth has a lot of excellent thoughts that should be considered by church leaders. However, recently, I haven't been so enthralled about what he has to say. My concern is that I have been drawn into the church leader as church marketer mentality. Godin constantly talks about getting people what they want.
What people want is often not what's good for them. I want a Rita's water ice right now. One was custard in it. But I don't need it. In fact it would be bad for me in the sense that I'm already overweight and I don't need the extra calories.
In many ways, the contemporary church is overweight. It's over program and most of these programs focus on giving people what they want, not good discipleship. Granted, the church, as a fully volunteer organization, must rely on people wanting to be a part of the organization. But maybe that's the problem right there; too many people are attracted to an organization before they are attracted to faith in Jesus Christ.
So am I right on this one? Is the job of a leader to give people what they want? Where is the job of the leader to give people what they need? Maybe it's a combination of both? What they want leads into what they need. But then I wonder, how do leaders know how to make turn from what they want to what they need so that the people are willing to move away from just the thing that they want. Is there any value in giving me a Rita's water ice but telling me what I really need is a well-balanced diet?
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Gloves, opera and why dads are so important
I've thought a lot about being a dad this June more than past. As Moriah graduates and prepares to move on, I've had opportunity to reflect on my own fathering and also on the relationship I have with my father. Fortunately, for me, I've enjoyed both.
As I've reflected, I've come across a trend. I believe that moms are the most important person for teaching us to live and to love, but this trend has reinforced in me the crucial role that fathers play in the lives of there children. It comes from the world of music.
While listening to the live version of U2's Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own, I learned that Bono wrote this song to his father.
I also Bono's song took me back a few year to Dan Fogelberg and his song, Leader of the Band. Both artist connect their music to what their fathers taught them. Bono acknowledges his father singing "your the reason why the opera is in me." Fogelberg calls himself the "living legacy to the the leader of the band."
Peter Gabriel wrote a song to his dad called Father-Son. Gabriel sings, "I first found my courage knowing daddy could save." While not about his music specifically, Gabriel acknowledge his father for his strength. That strength certainly led to a long successful musical career.
There is something else in common with these father songs and some other songs about fathers, (i.e., Paul Simon's Father and Daughter and John Mayer's Daughters). It is that they all tend to be full of tention. Bono notes "we fight, all the time." Dan Fogelberg's dad has a "thundering velvet hand." John Mayer sees a poor father resulting in the next generation having to "clean up the mess he made." Gabriel's tention of learning to trust his father comes through fear of water and learning to swim.
These songs all lead me to a last song that I've been thinking about. Rich Mullins wrote a great song called Growing Young. It's is about a father, but not necessarily Mullins' father. It's a story about the prodigal son. The story that Jesus tells is a great story of the love of a father filled with great tentions.
I saw a story on ABC News this week that talked about a study that showed that a father's roughhousing is important to development of children. With roughhousing fathers demonstrate to their children appropriate measure of winning and losing. From rough play with dad, children learn to test their limits; they learn to discover their identity.
I learned something through this musical reflection. I learned that while it is from our mothers that we learn how to love, it is from our fathers that people gain their identity. More importantly, it is from God the Father that we gain the fullness of our identity as he allows us the right measures of winning and losing in this life.
We need fathers. We need strong, Christian fathers who are involved with their children, and let their children win; and let their children lose. We need fathers that discipline and teach our children the things like swimming that require trust. We need fathers who treat their daughters with grace and give their children a love for culture.
I've had a father that gave me this example. I hope that I'm that example to my children, especially now as Moriah will be moving to the next step of her life. As Paul Simon says, "as much as one and one is two, there can never be a father who loves his daughter as much as you."
As I've reflected, I've come across a trend. I believe that moms are the most important person for teaching us to live and to love, but this trend has reinforced in me the crucial role that fathers play in the lives of there children. It comes from the world of music.
While listening to the live version of U2's Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own, I learned that Bono wrote this song to his father.
I also Bono's song took me back a few year to Dan Fogelberg and his song, Leader of the Band. Both artist connect their music to what their fathers taught them. Bono acknowledges his father singing "your the reason why the opera is in me." Fogelberg calls himself the "living legacy to the the leader of the band."
Peter Gabriel wrote a song to his dad called Father-Son. Gabriel sings, "I first found my courage knowing daddy could save." While not about his music specifically, Gabriel acknowledge his father for his strength. That strength certainly led to a long successful musical career.
There is something else in common with these father songs and some other songs about fathers, (i.e., Paul Simon's Father and Daughter and John Mayer's Daughters). It is that they all tend to be full of tention. Bono notes "we fight, all the time." Dan Fogelberg's dad has a "thundering velvet hand." John Mayer sees a poor father resulting in the next generation having to "clean up the mess he made." Gabriel's tention of learning to trust his father comes through fear of water and learning to swim.
These songs all lead me to a last song that I've been thinking about. Rich Mullins wrote a great song called Growing Young. It's is about a father, but not necessarily Mullins' father. It's a story about the prodigal son. The story that Jesus tells is a great story of the love of a father filled with great tentions.
I saw a story on ABC News this week that talked about a study that showed that a father's roughhousing is important to development of children. With roughhousing fathers demonstrate to their children appropriate measure of winning and losing. From rough play with dad, children learn to test their limits; they learn to discover their identity.
I learned something through this musical reflection. I learned that while it is from our mothers that we learn how to love, it is from our fathers that people gain their identity. More importantly, it is from God the Father that we gain the fullness of our identity as he allows us the right measures of winning and losing in this life.
We need fathers. We need strong, Christian fathers who are involved with their children, and let their children win; and let their children lose. We need fathers that discipline and teach our children the things like swimming that require trust. We need fathers who treat their daughters with grace and give their children a love for culture.
I've had a father that gave me this example. I hope that I'm that example to my children, especially now as Moriah will be moving to the next step of her life. As Paul Simon says, "as much as one and one is two, there can never be a father who loves his daughter as much as you."
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
What Mr. Geiger taught me
As Moriah comes into her last weeks of high school, I'm reminded of my senior year and Mr. Geiger. Mr. Geiger was my geology teacher. Think Mr. Feeny with a cowboy hat and much less refined. I liked his class because I like rocks. It even eventually helped me to discover my major in college, hydrology. It turns out that geology of water a closely related.
In the course of a year with Mr. Geiger, I can remember 3 words of wisdom that he freely offered even as they extended beyond the study of geology.
1) Mr. Geiger said, "When you have children someday, never respond to their questions with 'I don't know.' Instead, say, 'Let's find out.' And then do the research together to find the answer."
I've used this bit of wisdom often in my raising of Moriah and Elie. Google made it easier than Mr. Geiger could have ever imagined.
2) On a field trip when Mr. Geiger said, "If you're man enough to chew, you're man enough to swallow." He actually gave this advice as we road a bus to his garage. It was part of an invitation to chew tobacco if we wanted, but he didn't want us to spit on his flour. That was a different day, and probably still not kosher with the school administration, but I have never been man enough to chew by his standard. No one else was on that day either.
3) There is a mineral called halite. It is salt, just like the salt on your table. And it turns out that being salt, it tastes like table salt. In the mineral identification unit, Mr. Geiger offered this wisdom. "If you're in the woods and find something that might be halite, pick it up and taste it. If it tastes salty it might be halite...or some hippie and his dog was there before you."
I'll let you deduce the life lesson for the last one.
In the course of a year with Mr. Geiger, I can remember 3 words of wisdom that he freely offered even as they extended beyond the study of geology.
1) Mr. Geiger said, "When you have children someday, never respond to their questions with 'I don't know.' Instead, say, 'Let's find out.' And then do the research together to find the answer."
I've used this bit of wisdom often in my raising of Moriah and Elie. Google made it easier than Mr. Geiger could have ever imagined.
2) On a field trip when Mr. Geiger said, "If you're man enough to chew, you're man enough to swallow." He actually gave this advice as we road a bus to his garage. It was part of an invitation to chew tobacco if we wanted, but he didn't want us to spit on his flour. That was a different day, and probably still not kosher with the school administration, but I have never been man enough to chew by his standard. No one else was on that day either.
3) There is a mineral called halite. It is salt, just like the salt on your table. And it turns out that being salt, it tastes like table salt. In the mineral identification unit, Mr. Geiger offered this wisdom. "If you're in the woods and find something that might be halite, pick it up and taste it. If it tastes salty it might be halite...or some hippie and his dog was there before you."
I'll let you deduce the life lesson for the last one.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Teachers wanted
A few years ago, about the time I was in seminary, the general movement in preparing church leaders was to focus on the skills and gifts of organizational leadership. That trend is reversing in many circles as churches are more and more looking for pastors to be shepherds of the flock. A shepherd in the field has one goal: to help his flock thrive. This goal is met through two clear objectives: leading the sheep to fresh, healthy grass, and protecting them from danger along the way.
While thinking this over this morning I came to a realization about the first objective. That is, the shepherd doesn't regularly feed the sheep. He helps sheep to feed themselves. As such, leaders of the church need to be helping people to thrive through leading them to the place they aught to be. In modern language, leaders need to be about the business of teaching, not educating.
Defined by Merriam-Webster's:
We often think of these terms interchangeably. They aren't. Teaching is freeing. It is about helping one to discover or uncover knowledge. Educating is about a system; it's about making sure that the person gets through all the important hoops so that they come out "qualified." Teachers think about expanding the student's mind. Educators think about expanding the students' portfolios. Teachers address the needs of the individual. Educators address the mechanism where many are processed as they are certified for something beyond.
The church needs more teachers to open the minds of the next generation. We don't need systems to process people. We need people who lovingly challenge others to seek out knowledge and use the knowledge so they can thrive.
While thinking this over this morning I came to a realization about the first objective. That is, the shepherd doesn't regularly feed the sheep. He helps sheep to feed themselves. As such, leaders of the church need to be helping people to thrive through leading them to the place they aught to be. In modern language, leaders need to be about the business of teaching, not educating.
Defined by Merriam-Webster's:
teach: to cause to know something.
educate: to provide schooling for.
We often think of these terms interchangeably. They aren't. Teaching is freeing. It is about helping one to discover or uncover knowledge. Educating is about a system; it's about making sure that the person gets through all the important hoops so that they come out "qualified." Teachers think about expanding the student's mind. Educators think about expanding the students' portfolios. Teachers address the needs of the individual. Educators address the mechanism where many are processed as they are certified for something beyond.
The church needs more teachers to open the minds of the next generation. We don't need systems to process people. We need people who lovingly challenge others to seek out knowledge and use the knowledge so they can thrive.
Tuesday, February 01, 2011
College students aren't learning and why many people are happy about that
Have you seen the study reported by New York University sociologist Richard Arum in the book Academically Adrift: Limited Learning on College Campuses? I haven't read the book because it isn't available yet and will cost more than $60, but I've read the summaries, and I think this is a very important issue for Christians to contemplate with respect to spiritual formation.
Yesterday, I had a discussion where I was informed that Bible colleges don't believe that learning to think about what one believes is the goal of their level of education. Their job apparently is to "teach the truth" to students. They anticipate that those students will go onto seminary where they will learn to think the why they believed what they believe. If true, that, in my opinion, is a tragedy of arrogance. A tragedy because I believe 3rd graders should be taught to think critically about their faith or they will grow up only borrowing someone else's faith. It is arrogant because it assumes that the schools and teachers can know truth completely. And knowing what my local bible colleges deems matters of knowable truth, it makes me concerned for the students who should be taught first that God is too complex for any human to know fully (Romans 11:34). If Bible colleges believe their job is to indoctrinate their students into a system, then I'm sure that many other colleges do as well.
Why do I think people are happy about this? Because, it is easy. It is easy to sit someone down and pound facts into their heads. It is easy to know which facts to pound into their heads. It is easy to measure when a student is "learning" and acting right. It is easier to become successful at the consumeristic level that makes us the most comfortable. It is easy when students don't ask hard questions that make us think or challenge authority. It is just plain easier for those in control, whether parent, or teacher, or political leaders, to create a system that doesn't encourage thought.
It is easy. But it isn't right and it isn't good.
God is a God of grace. Grace demands knowing truth but understanding that application of truth is difficult and varies. Grace teaches about the reality of judgement in real, tangible ways, but grace using good judgement in the exercise of judgement. Grace teaches that the best life isn't often the easy life. Rather the best life is the one that exercises grace through the practices of justice, mercy and love.
I'm glad that Grace Point has welcomed the teaching of Grace-Based Parenting (which continues Wednesday evening). This parenting course will challenge parents to work with their children in such a way that their children will more likely come to know their faith personally, to take ownership and to think critically about what they believe, because those critical thinking skills are the bases for godly grace.
Yesterday, I had a discussion where I was informed that Bible colleges don't believe that learning to think about what one believes is the goal of their level of education. Their job apparently is to "teach the truth" to students. They anticipate that those students will go onto seminary where they will learn to think the why they believed what they believe. If true, that, in my opinion, is a tragedy of arrogance. A tragedy because I believe 3rd graders should be taught to think critically about their faith or they will grow up only borrowing someone else's faith. It is arrogant because it assumes that the schools and teachers can know truth completely. And knowing what my local bible colleges deems matters of knowable truth, it makes me concerned for the students who should be taught first that God is too complex for any human to know fully (Romans 11:34). If Bible colleges believe their job is to indoctrinate their students into a system, then I'm sure that many other colleges do as well.
Why do I think people are happy about this? Because, it is easy. It is easy to sit someone down and pound facts into their heads. It is easy to know which facts to pound into their heads. It is easy to measure when a student is "learning" and acting right. It is easier to become successful at the consumeristic level that makes us the most comfortable. It is easy when students don't ask hard questions that make us think or challenge authority. It is just plain easier for those in control, whether parent, or teacher, or political leaders, to create a system that doesn't encourage thought.
It is easy. But it isn't right and it isn't good.
God is a God of grace. Grace demands knowing truth but understanding that application of truth is difficult and varies. Grace teaches about the reality of judgement in real, tangible ways, but grace using good judgement in the exercise of judgement. Grace teaches that the best life isn't often the easy life. Rather the best life is the one that exercises grace through the practices of justice, mercy and love.
I'm glad that Grace Point has welcomed the teaching of Grace-Based Parenting (which continues Wednesday evening). This parenting course will challenge parents to work with their children in such a way that their children will more likely come to know their faith personally, to take ownership and to think critically about what they believe, because those critical thinking skills are the bases for godly grace.
Friday, January 07, 2011
Belonging is commitment
I recently read Search to Belong by Joseph Myers. Myers makes some strong points but ultimately he falls short on the purpose of the church. Myers seems to think that because people have limitation, the church should not encourage deeper relationships. I guess he presumes that most people are already at or near capacity. I don't think that is true. In fact, I think most people are looking for more personal and more intimate relationship, but struggling to find them. That is they struggle to find the godly form of those relationships and thus relationships often are a burden not a joy.
While Myers has some good point, particularly the need for the church to cultivate relational environments rather than to create artificial relationships through programs, I think the table below demonstrates the difference between my point of view and his. He sites the work of Bullard and seem to think that the "Community" is the goal of the church. (I'd actually argue that it is the goal of current culture.) I think that Family is the relational goal of the church. I added to Myer's summary of Bullard in thoughts in the last column and the last three.
Relational perspectives from 4 different church models*
While Myers has some good point, particularly the need for the church to cultivate relational environments rather than to create artificial relationships through programs, I think the table below demonstrates the difference between my point of view and his. He sites the work of Bullard and seem to think that the "Community" is the goal of the church. (I'd actually argue that it is the goal of current culture.) I think that Family is the relational goal of the church. I added to Myer's summary of Bullard in thoughts in the last column and the last three.
Relational perspectives from 4 different church models*
Committees | Teams | Communities | Family Communities | |
Formation | Elected or appointed according to rules | Recruited or drafted to work on specific project | Voluntarily connected in search of genuine and meaningful experiences | Voluntary commitment, often unspoken, based on common experiences and a need for one another |
Focus | Making decision or setting policies | Maturing to performing tasks more effectively | Add qualitative relationship, meaning, and experiences to the organization, organisms or movement | Move to meet the best of all—individually and as a unit |
Membership | Fixed term | Serve for life of project | No bounded membership and members come and go as interest dictates | Members are received with both family and individual accept adoption; Membership loss is mourned |
Outside Assistance | High quality training and consultants | Partner with respected practitioners or coaches | Align with advocates who come alongside | Relate to outsiders as extended family |
Recruitment | People of respect | People of expertise | People of passion | People of mutual love |
Benefits | Build loyalty to mission | Create effect action | Provide enthusiasm | Create an environment of unconditional love |
Style of Work | Making lasting decisions and manage resources | Debate strengths and weaknesses to develop the best product | Dialog to arrive at the best solution | Seek wisdom with reliance on patri/matriarchs to ensure the most loving decision for all |
Sharing | Share mission but seldom power | Share love both inwardly and outwardly | ||
Reproduction | Look to created purpose for subcommittees or department | No real reason unless a new project comes long | Based on an individual or segment of the membership discovering an following a new passion together | When younger members mature an begin a family of their own |
The Lost | At worst: a thread to the organization At best: another project for another committee | At worst: Something that slows productivity At best: A hill to conquer together | At worst: A distraction for the communities goals At best: The passion | At worst: A threat to the family At best: Objects for expanding the circle of love |
* Adapted and expanded from George Bullard’s “Abandon Committees, Skip Teams and Embrace Communities” as summarized in The Search to Belong by Joseph R. Myers, pg. 14-15. (The shaded area represents Bullard’s work.)
Thursday, December 16, 2010
The child's advantage
The child's advantage over the adult is evident in Matthew 19. Here Jesus turns conventional wisdom on its head as he rebukes the disciples for restricting the children's access to him because "the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." This short story is sandwiched between Pharisees who complicate the Law with the subject of divorce and a rich man who wants to know the minimum amount of the Law that he must follow.
We should not teach children to be experts in the Law. Experts want to know loopholes and limits.
Rather it is our responsibility to introduce children to Jesus, allow their natural faith to flourish, and help them to be obedient to Christ.
We should not teach children to be experts in the Law. Experts want to know loopholes and limits.
Rather it is our responsibility to introduce children to Jesus, allow their natural faith to flourish, and help them to be obedient to Christ.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Why the church and I must change, always
It is this reason that I know that I should welcome change in my life. Steadiness is comfortable, but reconciliation is change. Of course, not all change is good. Some change is reverting to a deeper sinfulness, but I know that staying the same will never help me to progress.
In the same way, I don't think the church can be the same. Christ left the church, his bride, as his representative on earth but that doesn't imply that the church is perfect like he is. The Church is guided by the Holy Spirit, but that doesn't mean that it has perfect love. If that were true, Paul's letters to the first century church would be quite different. As they were, they were letters to sinful people in troubled churches. Paul's challenge was for each of these churches to repent and be reconciled. His challenge was to change.
John wrote in his revelation to imperfect congregations. These churches were not reconciled to God any more than the churches that Paul wrote were reconciled to one another. While I believe that it is important that the church understand and teach the traditions of the previous generations, I do not think that that means that the church's role on earth is to maintain. It isn't to maintain traditions any more than Jesus accepted the Pharisees for their maintenance of Jewish tradition.
What I don't mean here is that the church needs to modernize itself. It is very possible that in the name of contextualizing, the church has become more like the Sadducees with watered-down faith in lieu of political or cultural power. We need stronger faith and a stronger commitment to the Gospel than what so many do when they hope that by looking just like the culture people will come to Jesus because someone slip a watered-down gospel talk in between songs in the big show that we call a worship service.
The church needs to change. And change needs to come in many ways. We cannot settle into comfortable organizations. The church should never be comfortable. The church in Laodicea tried that, and Jesus pledged to spit it out of his mouth (Revelation 3:14-22). I think that has got to be one of the most ominous warnings that God ever gave to anyone. The whole reason for the warning was that the church just wanted to comforably be what is was without love that challenged its members to be something. I would assume that this church had no goal of reconciliation but only a goal of comfortable conformity.
The church must be about the business of helping people to change in reconciliation so that they can help others to be reconciled. With out this goal, there is no valuable purpose for an institutional church to exist. Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever, but we as humans cannot accept that same claim, either as individuals or as a body so we need to change. Change will always be uncomfortable.
John wrote in his revelation to imperfect congregations. These churches were not reconciled to God any more than the churches that Paul wrote were reconciled to one another. While I believe that it is important that the church understand and teach the traditions of the previous generations, I do not think that that means that the church's role on earth is to maintain. It isn't to maintain traditions any more than Jesus accepted the Pharisees for their maintenance of Jewish tradition.
What I don't mean here is that the church needs to modernize itself. It is very possible that in the name of contextualizing, the church has become more like the Sadducees with watered-down faith in lieu of political or cultural power. We need stronger faith and a stronger commitment to the Gospel than what so many do when they hope that by looking just like the culture people will come to Jesus because someone slip a watered-down gospel talk in between songs in the big show that we call a worship service.
The church needs to change. And change needs to come in many ways. We cannot settle into comfortable organizations. The church should never be comfortable. The church in Laodicea tried that, and Jesus pledged to spit it out of his mouth (Revelation 3:14-22). I think that has got to be one of the most ominous warnings that God ever gave to anyone. The whole reason for the warning was that the church just wanted to comforably be what is was without love that challenged its members to be something. I would assume that this church had no goal of reconciliation but only a goal of comfortable conformity.
The church must be about the business of helping people to change in reconciliation so that they can help others to be reconciled. With out this goal, there is no valuable purpose for an institutional church to exist. Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever, but we as humans cannot accept that same claim, either as individuals or as a body so we need to change. Change will always be uncomfortable.
Monday, October 11, 2010
Christine O'Donnell's folks wisely changed their TV campaign from "I'm not a witch. I'm your wife."
"I'm not a witch. I'm you wife"
I'm not a witch. I'm you."
Two possible campaign slogans.
We might never know which is more effective.
But we can know that one is funnier.
Especially when it is preceded by "Liar! Liar!"
Tuesday, October 05, 2010
Should we ask God to relieve our suffering?
http://read.ly/John12.27.NLT
When Jesus knew his life was coming to a very difficult end he didn't run from the suffering. In fact, he said,
Father, bring glory to your name today even if it mean a little discomfort.
When Jesus knew his life was coming to a very difficult end he didn't run from the suffering. In fact, he said,
"Now my soul is deeply troubled. Should I pray, `Father, save me from this hour'? But this is the very reason I came! Father, bring glory to your name."When you are in a time of suffering or carrying a burden of grief, is your first prayer that God would take it away? Or is your first prayer that God would bring glory to His name?
Then a voice spoke from heaven, saying, "I have already brought glory to my name, and I will do so again."
Father, bring glory to your name today even if it mean a little discomfort.
Monday, September 27, 2010
How many commands do you need to follow? Pick one as long as it is love.
Bible scholars have for generations counted the commands in the Bible. Most people would say that the Old Testament has somewhere over 600 commands to follow. Of course, most children's Sunday School classes have focused on the 10 Biggies, the 10 Commandments. There was even a classic movie made of that with wonderful 1960's style special effects.
I think people over think this issue. Jesus said that there are just 2 commandments that summarize everything God asks people to do. They are, love God and love others.
In the Old Testament God made this clear as the summary of the giving of the 10 commandments. He said:
This should be very freeing. We are to love. We don't have to be theologians to love. We just need to love. We don't have to understand the political climate to love. We just need to be loving to all people. We don't need to have a perfect ecclesiology or eschatology to love. We just need to care for the needs of the people around us and focus on the goodness of God.
What extra things are you doing in your life that may interfere with your raw ability to love? What extra expectation are you putting on others that inhibit their ability to love you back, or may lead you to be less loving of them?
I've heard it said that you should hate the sin but love the sinner. I wonder if we shouldn't just love the sinner and love God and let God focus more on the conviction of the sinner. Sure loving God will demand a separation from sin, but perhaps the best focus for my life is how much I can love God rather than labeling the actions of others as sinful. I often misinterpret actions anyhow.
I think people over think this issue. Jesus said that there are just 2 commandments that summarize everything God asks people to do. They are, love God and love others.
In the Old Testament God made this clear as the summary of the giving of the 10 commandments. He said:
Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Deuteronomy 6:4-6And in the New Testament, Jesus makes it clear that all commandments boil down to just these two.
“ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Matthew 22:37-40In reality to love God and love others is the same commandment. If you love God, you will love other people. So, in reality God only requires one thing of you. That is to love.
This should be very freeing. We are to love. We don't have to be theologians to love. We just need to love. We don't have to understand the political climate to love. We just need to be loving to all people. We don't need to have a perfect ecclesiology or eschatology to love. We just need to care for the needs of the people around us and focus on the goodness of God.
What extra things are you doing in your life that may interfere with your raw ability to love? What extra expectation are you putting on others that inhibit their ability to love you back, or may lead you to be less loving of them?
I've heard it said that you should hate the sin but love the sinner. I wonder if we shouldn't just love the sinner and love God and let God focus more on the conviction of the sinner. Sure loving God will demand a separation from sin, but perhaps the best focus for my life is how much I can love God rather than labeling the actions of others as sinful. I often misinterpret actions anyhow.
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