I believe something weird

Yesterday a well meaning and good man asked me a question that was harder to answer than I thought. As such, I've been thinking about it for the whole day today. He asked me if I believe in anything weird. I do.

I believe that there is a God. A being bigger than me, bigger than this universe, bigger than time, and active in all those things.

I believe that this God created the universe, this world and me. He created it in the perfect time and perfect order according to his will. That's weird. He did it all for his own glory and that wasn't arrogant. It was, in fact, quite natural for him and loving, too. That's weird.

He created people and put them in this universe on this world. He created us in his own image, male and female, both. That's weird enough, but that image has power as it carries with it the rights and responsibility to represent him in this world. That's weird.

Do I believe anything weird? I believe that all those made in his image are also flawed. Not flawed in the way he made us, but flawed in the way that we think we can make ourselves as powerful and knowledgable as God himself. We are flawed despite being the image of a perfect God. That's weird.

I believe that all people are made for relationship, but, in those relationship, our natural actions are often destructive. We tend to destroy our relationship with the loving God who created us, and we tend to destroy our relationships with the people around us. We do that because the thing that we need most--love--is overrun by the thing that we want most--power. That's weird because if we love God and love people, God's power will enable us to do much more than all the power of this world could ever enable us to do.

I believe that the best way to love someone, no matter you gender, age or position is to submit to the other person. Humility is always more strengthening than self confidence. That's weird and seems like foolishness to most people, but God says and demonstrates that it is wise.

I believe that the fix for all broken relationships--between people and God and between people and other people--comes through God, and the fact that God, who is not man, became a man, humbled himself to the lowest point of manhood, submitted to the will of the worst kind of men, and died because of it. That's really weird.

I believe that the dead man, who was God, didn't stay dead, but, on his own power, came back to life. That's weird because how does something that is dead (powerless?) have the power to do the impossible? I don't know. Yes, it is weird. But I believe it because I've experienced it.

I believe that I am a testimony of that power, because I am dead on my own. I have no power within me. I have killed myself in my own selfishness, but I see God making life out of my death. I see God making strength out of my weakness. The new strength within me are not mine to use for me, but mine to give to other people. It isn't mine, because it belong to God, Spirit and the to those on earth that he has call, the Church. When I think they are mine, I use them in the wrong way and they become weaknesses to me. This whole thing about my strengths being my weaknesses and my weaknesses being my strengths is really weird, and o so frustrating.

I believe that events that are best for me are the ones that I most like to avoid. Pain is a path to growth, but seldom do I grow from being comfortable. Still, I almost always want to be comfortable. It is for that reason that I believe that the people who should be given the most attention in this world are the lowest one, the poor, the handicapped, the disenfranchised, and the children. The natural tendency is to want to learn from those who have become strong on their own power, those who run big organization and have powerful jobs or write important books, but more often we can learn from the simple people in this world if we stop to listen to them and experience the place where they live. That's weird and doesn't sell real well.

I do believe some weird stuff.

I believe that a husband, long before they even considers telling his wife that he's in charge and she should listen to him, should give 100% of his love and even his life for his wife because that is what God did for him. I believe long before church leaders demand followers follow them, they should sacrifice all that they have for those who would be their followers. I believe that men in the churches should do everything to help women and children in their company to use every gift that God gives them to empower them for doing what God would have them to do. I believe that a father's first responsibility is to give his children hope that they would not be bitter. That's uncomfortable, and weird.

At the same time, I believe that children need to honor their parents through obedience, not obedience demanded, but obedience taught and demonstrated. A wife need to submit to her husband, not because her husband demands it, but because it is right. A woman in the church needs to submit to men, not because it is a commandment, but because it will bring peace. That's weird too. Shouldn't women and children have just as much right to demand their rights? They should. But everyone's rights are more quickly served when everyone is looking out for the good of other people. Men should be loudly demanding the rights be given to women and children. That's weird.

I believe that even with all of this kind of thinking and teaching, people will inevitably be selfish and act in ways that are destructive. But that doesn't faze God. The free will of people (and I believe that humans all have completely free wills) will never disrupt the perfect plan of God. It will make his plan keener and wiser. That's weird because we think like people, not like God.

I believe that God's perfect plan is to destroy this world as we know it and raise up a new, perfect world. I don't know what that means, because I'm not God, nor has he made humans privy to the fullness of knowledge of what that mean. Again that’s weird.

At the same time, he promise that in his lovingness he will judge all people. We are all guilty and the penalty of this guilt is death and torment. I don't know what that means either, because it's too big for me to know. Still, it doesn't sound good. It sound weird. But in God's perfect and glorious ways, I believe that it will be holy and good.

Not everyone gets that judgment. Not because anyone is worthy of something else. None of us are. Those who don't get that judgment are those who chose to have faith in the work of Jesus done on the Cross. That sure seems like a weird way for me to escape judgment, but I believe that it does. Weirder yet is that it all happens because I chose to follow Christ because he chose for me to follow him. I don't get that. It's weird. But I believe it.

I believe that those who are chosen won't go to some far off place called heaven. They we stay no earth. But not like this earth. It will be a new earth, or a renewed earth. It will be glorious. Weird? Yes. And we won't be in some angel like bodies or even ghostly bodies. We will be in these bodies. These bodies will be made new, and perfect. Even if the body has already be destroyed, God will make it new again. I can tell you, that's weird.

I believe all this weirdness because I'm a testimony of the fact that it is true. I have experience the transformation that tells me it is true, but not just because I am a testimony. I believe it because God has preserved his specific testimony in a special way. That testimony, the story of God and his love, is the Bible. It is whole and complete and always good for teaching me and all other people who God is and how each of us belongs in his story.

This doesn't leave much doubt

Nothing can separate us from God's love. 

‎"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." - Romans 8:38-39

It's not about a baby. It's about a King.

 “Glory to God in the highest heaven,
         and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”  Lk 2:14

The Nativity story isn't so much about a baby's birthday as it is the covert beginnings of a King moving his pieces into place to begin to take back his territory. With the birth of Jesus, the manger became the first piece of land where the Kingdom of God was established. The good news is that the Kingdom is still expanding today.

The soldiers of this great war aren't the king's guard or great warriors but the smelly, disheveled shepherds and anyone else who is willing to hear the good news and go worship the King.

The tools used to fight this war aren't weapons of death, but a message of peace.

This year join the work of the Kingdom. Lay down your weapons of war so you can the King in sharing this message of Peace.

The idol of acceptance and popularity

Way too many Christians put popularity ahead of their obedience to Christ. This is absolutely evident in the number of youth who walk away from their faith when they no longer fit in a youth group. It is equally evident in the fact that youth groups are often, maybe even in my church, a place that youth feel more popular. I know this is often the goal of church leaders and parents. They hope that youth group is a place where the young Christians can find acceptance with their peers.

That doesn't seem too wrong. We want our children to be accepted by Christian peers rather than be lost in the wrong crowd. The problem is that when that is the goal of youth group, the real purpose of the church is lost. The only valid purpose of the church is to hold one another up as we glorify God and spread his light to the world.

Glorifying God is not popular.

I have a challenge that hit me this week. Name one person in the Bible that God told to become popular and through politics of the day quietly bit by bit, with great sensitivity to the will of others develop a popular and comfortable community that glorifies God.

I can't think of one. The closest I can come up with is Esther. Her challenge from Mordecia was to gain political power to save the people of Israel. While this could be seen as a move to become political for a godly goal, the fact is that Esther didn't do what was popular. She stuck her neck out in great risk of becoming unpopular with the king. The fact that it worked was a blessing from God because of her obedience.

Of course in 1 Kings 12, the elders of Israel advised Rehoboam to lighten the tax load on the people after Solomon's expensive reign. One might interpret this as a step to make him more popular, but you'll see as that text progresses that the issue of seeking popularity is the downfall of Rehoboam. He was seeking to be popular among his peers. The elder's goal was less about popularity and more about wisdom of the moment.

As a follower of Christ and leader in a church, my goal cannot be about popularity. My goal is about obedience. Both my personal obedience to Christ and teaching others to be obedient. Church growth should be a natural outcome as more people obey Christ, but I cannot confuse the idol of acceptance with obedience in faith.

Leadership and Marketing: Are they the same?

Interact with me on this thought…

Marketers give people what they want. Leaders give people what they need. 

 I wonder if marketing is often confused for leading in a consumer-driven, populous society. In a couple days, I'll be attending the Willow Creek leadership Summit. I don't like this event but I go because my leadership team supports it and because I want to help them to interact with the different concepts that are shared their. I don't like it, because, in the end, I don't feel that the Summit trains leaders but marketers.

One speaker at this summit is a marketer named Seth Godin. I'm enjoy reading Seth Godin's books and his blog. I feel that Seth has a lot of excellent thoughts that should be considered by church leaders. However, recently, I haven't been so enthralled about what he has to say. My concern is that I have been drawn into the church leader as church marketer mentality. Godin constantly talks about getting people what they want.

What people want is often not what's good for them. I want a Rita's water ice right now. One was custard in it. But I don't need it. In fact it would be bad for me in the sense that I'm already overweight and I don't need the extra calories.

In many ways, the contemporary church is overweight. It's over program and most of these programs focus on giving people what they want, not good discipleship. Granted, the church, as a fully volunteer organization, must rely on people wanting to be a part of the organization. But maybe that's the problem right there; too many people are attracted to an organization before they are attracted to faith in Jesus Christ.

So am I right on this one? Is the job of a leader to give people what they want? Where is the job of the leader to give people what they need? Maybe it's a combination of both? What they want leads into what they need. But then I wonder, how do leaders know how to make turn from what they want to what they need so that the people are willing to move away from just the thing that they want. Is there any value in giving me a Rita's water ice but telling me what I really need is a well-balanced diet?

Gloves, opera and why dads are so important

I've thought a lot about being a dad this June more than past. As Moriah graduates and prepares to move on, I've had opportunity to reflect on my own fathering and also on the relationship I have with my father. Fortunately, for me, I've enjoyed both.

As I've reflected, I've come across a trend. I believe that moms are the most important person for teaching us to live and to love, but this trend has reinforced in me the crucial role that fathers play in the lives of there children. It comes from the world of music.

While listening to the live version of U2's Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own, I learned that Bono wrote this song to his father.

I also Bono's song took me back a few year to Dan Fogelberg and his song, Leader of the Band. Both artist connect their music to what their fathers taught them. Bono acknowledges his father singing "your the reason why the opera is in me." Fogelberg calls himself the "living legacy to the the leader of the band."

Peter Gabriel wrote a song to his dad called Father-Son. Gabriel sings, "I first found my courage knowing daddy could save." While not about his music specifically, Gabriel acknowledge his father for his strength. That strength certainly led to a long successful musical career.

There is something else in common with these father songs and some other songs about fathers, (i.e., Paul Simon's Father and Daughter and John Mayer's Daughters). It is that they all tend to be full of tention. Bono notes "we fight, all the time." Dan Fogelberg's dad has a "thundering velvet hand." John Mayer sees a poor father resulting in the next generation having to "clean up the mess he made." Gabriel's tention of learning to trust his father comes through fear of water and learning to swim.

These songs all lead me to a last song that I've been thinking about. Rich Mullins wrote a great song called Growing Young. It's is about a father, but not necessarily Mullins' father. It's a story about the prodigal son. The story that Jesus tells is a great story of the love of a father filled with great tentions.

I saw a story on ABC News this week that talked about a study that showed that a father's roughhousing is important to development of children. With roughhousing fathers demonstrate to their children appropriate measure of winning and losing. From rough play with dad, children learn to test their limits; they learn to discover their identity.

I learned something through this musical reflection. I learned that while it is from our mothers that we learn how to love, it is from our fathers that people gain their identity. More importantly, it is from God the Father that we gain the fullness of our identity as he allows us the right measures of winning and losing in this life.

We need fathers. We need strong, Christian fathers who are involved with their children, and let their children win; and let their children lose. We need fathers that discipline and teach our children the things like swimming that require trust. We need fathers who treat their daughters with grace and give their children a love for culture.

I've had a father that gave me this example. I hope that I'm that example to my children, especially now as Moriah will be moving to the next step of her life. As Paul Simon says, "as much as one and one is two, there can never be a father who loves his daughter as much as you."

What Mr. Geiger taught me

As Moriah comes into her last weeks of high school, I'm reminded of my senior year and Mr. Geiger. Mr. Geiger was my geology teacher. Think Mr. Feeny with a cowboy hat and much less refined. I liked his class because I like rocks. It even eventually helped me to discover my major in college, hydrology. It turns out that geology of water a closely related.

In the course of a year with Mr. Geiger, I can remember 3 words of wisdom that he freely offered even as they extended beyond the study of geology.

1) Mr. Geiger said, "When you have children someday, never respond to their questions with 'I don't know.' Instead, say, 'Let's find out.' And then do the research together to find the answer."

I've used this bit of wisdom often in my raising of Moriah and Elie. Google made it easier than Mr. Geiger could have ever imagined.

2) On a field trip when Mr. Geiger said, "If you're man enough to chew, you're man enough to swallow." He actually gave this advice as we road a bus to his garage. It was part of an invitation to chew tobacco if we wanted, but he didn't want us to spit on his flour. That was a different day, and probably still not kosher with the school administration, but I have never been man enough to chew by his standard. No one else was on that day either.

3) There is a mineral called halite. It is salt, just like the salt on your table. And it turns out that being salt, it tastes like table salt. In the mineral identification unit, Mr. Geiger offered this wisdom. "If you're in the woods and find something that might be halite, pick it up and taste it. If it tastes salty it might be halite...or some hippie and his dog was there before you."

I'll let you deduce the life lesson for the last one.

Teachers wanted

A few years ago, about the time I was in seminary, the general movement in preparing church leaders was to focus on the skills and gifts of organizational leadership. That trend is reversing in many circles as churches are more and more looking for pastors to be shepherds of the flock. A shepherd in the field has one goal: to help his flock thrive. This goal is met through two clear objectives: leading the sheep to fresh, healthy grass, and protecting them from danger along the way.

While thinking this over this morning I came to a realization about the first objective. That is, the shepherd doesn't regularly feed the sheep. He helps sheep to feed themselves. As such, leaders of the church need to be helping people to thrive through leading them to the place they aught to be. In modern language, leaders need to be about the business of teaching, not educating.

Defined by Merriam-Webster's:

teach: to cause to know something.
educate: to provide schooling for .

We often think of these terms interchangeably. They aren't. Teaching is freeing. It is about helping one to discover or uncover knowledge. Educating is about a system; it's about making sure that the person gets through all the important hoops so that they come out "qualified." Teachers think about expanding the student's mind. Educators think about expanding the students' portfolios. Teachers address the needs of the individual. Educators address the mechanism where many are processed as they are certified for something beyond.

The church needs more teachers to open the minds of the next generation. We don't need systems to process people. We need people who lovingly challenge others to seek out knowledge and use the knowledge so they can thrive.

College students aren't learning and why many people are happy about that

Have you seen the study reported by New York University sociologist Richard Arum in the book Academically Adrift: Limited Learning on College Campuses? I haven't read the book because it isn't available yet and will cost more than $60, but I've read the summaries, and I think this is a very important issue for Christians to contemplate with respect to spiritual formation.

Yesterday, I had a discussion where I was informed that Bible colleges don't believe that learning to think about what one believes is the goal of their level of education. Their job apparently is to "teach the truth" to students. They anticipate that those students will go onto seminary where they will learn to think the why they believed what they believe. If true, that, in my opinion, is a tragedy of arrogance. A tragedy because I believe 3rd graders should be taught to think critically about their faith or they will grow up only borrowing someone else's faith. It is arrogant because it assumes that the schools and teachers can know truth completely. And knowing what my local bible colleges deems matters of knowable truth, it makes me concerned for the students who should be taught first that God is too complex for any human to know fully (Romans 11:34). If Bible colleges believe their job is to indoctrinate their students into a system, then I'm sure that many other colleges do as well.

Why do I think people are happy about this? Because, it is easy. It is easy to sit someone down and pound facts into their heads. It is easy to know which facts to pound into their heads. It is easy to measure when a student is "learning" and acting right. It is easier to become successful at the consumeristic level that makes us the most comfortable. It is easy when students don't ask hard questions that make us think or challenge authority. It is just plain easier for those in control, whether parent, or teacher, or political leaders, to create a system that doesn't encourage thought.

It is easy. But it isn't right and it isn't good.

God is a God of grace. Grace demands knowing truth but understanding that application of truth is difficult and varies. Grace teaches about the reality of judgement in real, tangible ways, but grace using good judgement in the exercise of judgement. Grace teaches that the best life isn't often the easy life. Rather the best life is the one that exercises grace through the practices of justice, mercy and love.

I'm glad that Grace Point has welcomed the teaching of Grace-Based Parenting (which continues Wednesday evening). This parenting course will challenge parents to work with their children in such a way that their children will more likely come to know their faith personally, to take ownership and to think critically about what they believe, because those critical thinking skills are the bases for godly grace.

Belonging is commitment

I recently read Search to Belong by Joseph Myers. Myers makes some strong points but ultimately he falls short on the purpose of the church. Myers seems to think that because people have limitation, the church should not encourage deeper relationships. I guess he presumes that most people are already at or near capacity. I don't think that is true. In fact, I think most people are looking for more personal and more intimate relationship, but struggling to find them. That is they struggle to find the godly form of those relationships and thus relationships often are a burden not a joy.

While Myers has some good point, particularly the need for the church to cultivate relational environments rather than to create artificial relationships through programs, I think the table below demonstrates the difference between my point of view and his. He sites the work of Bullard and seem to think that the "Community" is the goal of the church. (I'd actually argue that it is the goal of current culture.) I think that Family is the relational goal of the church. I added to Myer's summary of Bullard in thoughts in the last column and the last three.

Relational perspectives from 4 different church models*

	Committees	Teams	Communities	Family Communities
Formation	Elected or appointed according to rules	Recruited or drafted to work on specific project	Voluntarily connected in search of genuine and meaningful experiences	Voluntary commitment, often unspoken, based on common experiences and a need for one another
Focus	Making decision or setting policies	Maturing to performing tasks more effectively	Add qualitative relationship, meaning, and experiences to the organization, organisms or movement	Move to meet the best of all—individually and as a unit
Membership	Fixed term	Serve for life of project	No bounded membership and members come and go as interest dictates	Members are received with both family and individual accept adoption; Membership loss is mourned
Outside Assistance	High quality training and consultants	Partner with respected practitioners or coaches	Align with advocates who come alongside	Relate to outsiders as extended family
Recruitment	People of respect	People of expertise	People of passion	People of mutual love
Benefits	Build loyalty to mission	Create effect action	Provide enthusiasm	Create an environment of unconditional love
Style of Work	Making lasting decisions and manage resources	Debate strengths and weaknesses to develop the best product	Dialog to arrive at the best solution	Seek wisdom with reliance on patri/matriarchs to ensure the most loving decision for all
Sharing	Share mission but seldom power			Share love both inwardly and outwardly
Reproduction	Look to created purpose for subcommittees or department	No real reason unless a new project comes long	Based on an individual or segment of the membership discovering an following a new passion together	When younger members mature an begin a family of their own
The Lost	At worst: a thread to the organization At best: another project for another committee	At worst: Something that slows productivity At best: A hill to conquer together	At worst: A distraction for the communities goals At best: The passion	At worst: A threat to the family At best: Objects for expanding the circle of love

* Adapted and expanded from George Bullard’s “Abandon Committees, Skip Teams and Embrace Communities” as summarized in The Search to Belong by Joseph R. Myers, pg. 14-15. (The shaded area represents Bullard’s work.)

The child's advantage

The child's advantage over the adult is evident in Matthew 19. Here Jesus turns conventional wisdom on its head as he rebukes the disciples for restricting the children's access to him because "the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." This short story is sandwiched between Pharisees who complicate the Law with the subject of divorce and a rich man who wants to know the minimum amount of the Law that he must follow.

We should not teach children to be experts in the Law. Experts want to know loopholes and limits.

Rather it is our responsibility to introduce children to Jesus, allow their natural faith to flourish, and help them to be obedient to Christ.

Why the church and I must change, always

It is this reason that I know that I should welcome change in my life. Steadiness is comfortable, but reconciliation is change. Of course, not all change is good. Some change is reverting to a deeper sinfulness, but I know that staying the same will never help me to progress.

In the same way, I don't think the church can be the same. Christ left the church, his bride, as his representative on earth but that doesn't imply that the church is perfect like he is. The Church is guided by the Holy Spirit, but that doesn't mean that it has perfect love. If that were true, Paul's letters to the first century church would be quite different. As they were, they were letters to sinful people in troubled churches. Paul's challenge was for each of these churches to repent and be reconciled. His challenge was to change.

John wrote in his revelation to imperfect congregations. These churches were not reconciled to God any more than the churches that Paul wrote were reconciled to one another. While I believe that it is important that the church understand and teach the traditions of the previous generations, I do not think that that means that the church's role on earth is to maintain. It isn't to maintain traditions any more than Jesus accepted the Pharisees for their maintenance of Jewish tradition.

What I don't mean here is that the church needs to modernize itself. It is very possible that in the name of contextualizing, the church has become more like the Sadducees with watered-down faith in lieu of political or cultural power. We need stronger faith and a stronger commitment to the Gospel than what so many do when they hope that by looking just like the culture people will come to Jesus because someone slip a watered-down gospel talk in between songs in the big show that we call a worship service.

The church needs to change. And change needs to come in many ways. We cannot settle into comfortable organizations. The church should never be comfortable. The church in Laodicea tried that, and Jesus pledged to spit it out of his mouth (Revelation 3:14-22). I think that has got to be one of the most ominous warnings that God ever gave to anyone. The whole reason for the warning was that the church just wanted to comforably be what is was without love that challenged its members to be something. I would assume that this church had no goal of reconciliation but only a goal of comfortable conformity.

The church must be about the business of helping people to change in reconciliation so that they can help others to be reconciled. With out this goal, there is no valuable purpose for an institutional church to exist. Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever, but we as humans cannot accept that same claim, either as individuals or as a body so we need to change. Change will always be uncomfortable.

Christine O'Donnell's folks wisely changed their TV campaign from "I'm not a witch. I'm your wife."

"I'm not a witch. I'm you wife"

I'm not a witch. I'm you."

Two possible campaign slogans.

We might never know which is more effective.

But we can know that one is funnier.

Especially when it is preceded by "Liar! Liar!"

Should we ask God to relieve our suffering?

http://read.ly/John12.27.NLT

When Jesus knew his life was coming to a very difficult end he didn't run from the suffering. In fact, he said,

"Now my soul is deeply troubled. Should I pray, `Father, save me from this hour'? But this is the very reason I came! Father, bring glory to your name."
Then a voice spoke from heaven, saying, "I have already brought glory to my name, and I will do so again."

When you are in a time of suffering or carrying a burden of grief, is your first prayer that God would take it away? Or is your first prayer that God would bring glory to His name?

Father, bring glory to your name today even if it mean a little discomfort.

How many commands do you need to follow? Pick one as long as it is love.

Bible scholars have for generations counted the commands in the Bible. Most people would say that the Old Testament has somewhere over 600 commands to follow. Of course, most children's Sunday School classes have focused on the 10 Biggies, the 10 Commandments. There was even a classic movie made of that with wonderful 1960's style special effects.

I think people over think this issue. Jesus said that there are just 2 commandments that summarize everything God asks people to do. They are, love God and love others.

In the Old Testament God made this clear as the summary of the giving of the 10 commandments. He said:

Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Deuteronomy 6:4-6

And in the New Testament, Jesus makes it clear that all commandments boil down to just these two.

“ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Matthew 22:37-40

In reality to love God and love others is the same commandment. If you love God, you will love other people. So, in reality God only requires one thing of you. That is to love.

This should be very freeing. We are to love. We don't have to be theologians to love. We just need to love. We don't have to understand the political climate to love. We just need to be loving to all people. We don't need to have a perfect ecclesiology or eschatology to love. We just need to care for the needs of the people around us and focus on the goodness of God.

What extra things are you doing in your life that may interfere with your raw ability to love? What extra expectation are you putting on others that inhibit their ability to love you back, or may lead you to be less loving of them? 

I've heard it said that you should hate the sin but love the sinner. I wonder if we shouldn't just love the sinner and love God and let God focus more on the conviction of the sinner. Sure loving God will demand a separation from sin, but perhaps the best focus for my life is how much I can love God rather than labeling the actions of others as sinful. I often misinterpret actions anyhow.

A warning for parents (part 2)

[Note: This the the second of a two part blog based on warnings that I have discovered over the last couple years of studying parenting and spiritual issues. In this time I have read two books by Christian Smith, a sociologist who studies spirituality in youth culture. He has identified that one type of faith predominates among American youth. He called it moralistic therapeutic deism. He doesn't consider this type of faith to be healthy. I would agree. Please read yesterday's post if you have not yet.]

As I said in yesterday's post, when I ask parents what their top goals for their children are I usually get these three priorities:

• That they would follow God.
• That they would do good and avoid evil. (Obedience.)
• That they would be safe and happy.

While the first is a godly and biblical goal for parents, the other two are a distraction on the way to developing children who honestly follow God. We have already established that obedience is the wrong goal for parents so today I'll look at the goal of safe, happy children.

This is actually a very easy goal to knock down but it would do a disservice to try to knock it down with isolated verses. There are many examples for why safe living is not God's intention in scripture. Just look at the way that God treats his children: Israel in the Old Testament and the church in the New. Let us look at some more macro examples.

Remember the story of the 12 spies. They were sent into the promised land and asked to bring information about the inhabitants back to Moses and the Israelites. Two responded to God's call to take the land. The other 10 chose to fear scary things and instructed the Israelites to avoid the promise. Because the people chose the safe way out, God punished the people for 40 years.

In Judges, the statement "everyone did what was right in his own eyes" is repeated several times. It is easy to assume that the people of Judges had no leader and no clear agreement about the standard so each one chose to make himself or herself happy. This pursuit of happiness led to all sorts of troubles for the nation.

The Gospels are filled with stories of Jesus turning the tables on happiness. Jesus was not about teaching people the quick way to happiness, rather about putting others needs ahead for one's own. The best example for this principle are the beatitudes. In this teaching (as translated in modern English) Jesus says "happy are those..." But a careful reading makes it clear it is not about the one who wants to be happy to chase his own happiness. Rather it is about putting his immediate needs behind the needs of others.

Over and over again, the case can be made that God wants our happiness and even our safety to fall behind the needs of others and to be reliant on trust for him. If we teach our children to live safe and happy lives, we are short sheeting them. In this way, many Christian parents are no better than their non-Christian neighbors. Our children can easily become an idol for parents. This, in turn, teaches children to make their own state of mind their idol.

I love what C.S. Lewis says about God. Perhaps you remember this dialog in the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. When one child asked if Aslan (a form of God) is safe, Mr. Beaver replied, "Safe?...He isn't safe. But he's good."

Teach your children to live in the unsafe territory which is goodness, pursuing God with all their hearts. It won't be comfortable for you or for them, but it will be right.

If you'd like to read more about this topic, I'd suggest Crazy Love by Francis Chan.

A warning for parents (part 1)

[Note: This the the first of a two part blog based on warnings that I have discovered over the last couple year of studying parenting and spiritual issues. In this time I have read two books by Christian Smith, a sociologist who studies spirituality in youth culture. He has identified that one type of faith predominates among American youth. He called it moralistic therapeutic deism. He doesn't consider this type of faith to be healthy. I agree with his analysis.]

If I ask just about any parent in my church what their top goals for their children are I'm likely to get these three priorities:

• That they would follow God.
• That they would do good and avoid evil. (Obedience.)
• That they would be safe and happy.

In reality, I honestly think that deep down inside those are the answers I might give also, but 2 out of 3 of those responses are misguided. In truth, most of us really place the two weaker values ahead of the more biblical.

If you are a Christian parent, there is an absolute command to help your children to follow God. Deuteronomy 6 is the Lord's command to parents (the older generations) to give guidance to children (the younger generation) as the Lord says: 

"Listen, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord alone.5 And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength.6 And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. (NLT)

It might be real easy to say that this passage gives parents two responsibilities: to guide children into love of the Lord and to guide children into obedience. But, that is not really accurate.  There is only one responsibility for parents here. That is to love the Lord. Obedience is something that flows from our love for God. Jesus said, "If you love me you will obey my commands" (John 14:15). You will notice in this statement that obeying God's commands is not a command, but are result of our love.

Have you ever notice that most Christians are more like the older prodigal son? We usually look at that story from the eyes of the one who ran off after taking his inheritance. But we think, like the Pharisees and teachers of the Law, that because we have created bounds, that God owes us something. Parents, just teaching your children rules and boundaries isn't enough for proper spiritual development. That parenting style can lead to an entitlement complex where children grow up thinking that because they followed the rules, God owes them.

Unfortunately, when Christian parents focus on obedience, they don't create people who love God. They create obedient children. In fact, that obedience is often not to God at all, but rather to the parents. In my experience, these children often walk away from spiritual things we they are no longer under their parents' authority. Even if they continue in obedience, they can do this without a deep, honest love for God.

Instead of focusing on teaching your children obedience, make a priority of teaching them to love God and to love others.  As evident in the Deuteronomy passage, conversations on obedience will be important along the way  as they learn to live out their love for God and their love for others, but obedience isn't the starting point. The major mistake I notice when obedience is the starting point is that parents make their own law the measure of good. That might include non-biblical rules like those that guide the way they dress, the importance of attending church functions and sitting certain ways in those functions, and choosing a parent-approved life path. Be careful not to create a false law in your children's life. It is better to create a honest love.

I would recommend that parents read Grace Based Parenting by Tim Kimmel and The Jesus Creed by Scot McKnight. These books will help parents to focus on putting love for God ahead of obedience to you.

[Tomorrow I'll post on the thereputic mistake that parents make.]

I love boobies and book burnings

A few weeks ago as my family sat in Chicago Midway Airport waiting to board our flight home from our wonderful time in the Midwest, I noticed a boy about middle-school age sitting with an escort. He had up and down both arms a good number of those rubber band style bracelets. Every single one of the bands had printed in bold letters, "I love boobies."

I've seen this phrase before on bumper stickers, but this time it really shocked me. I asked my teenage daughter if she notices. Her response, "Dad, almost every boy in school wears those."

Doing remarkable things is a good way to get your message out. People notice you or your organization when you make bold and shocking statements. I have a friend who calls it the man bites dog factor. The I Love Boobies bands are apparently a breast cancer awareness campaign. In my opinion it is a misguided campaign as instead of getting people to look at the need for a cure for a disease that claims many beloved mothers, sisters, daughters and friends, the campaign turns boys to giggling and trivializing the female. It highlights the breast as a sex toy and a joke.

Today I am so happy that Pastor Terry Jones has rescinded his church's plan for burning the Koran. I'm not sure why exactly he and his church thought it was a good idea to plan and make public a Koran burning. I can guess that they are very happy about the fact that fewer than 10 days ago, googling "Pastor Terry Jones" would have returned some pretty plain websites and most certainly no news. I can imagine that the church is happy that this has been a tool for furthering their message, which I would venture they think is the Gospel of Christ. They have become remarkable in the most direct sense of the word. People are remarking about Terry Jones' church.

The problem with building notoriety for planning Koran burnings is the same problem as the I Love Boobies campaign. You get a message out, but it is the wrong message. It is a negative twist on what you are actually trying to say.

If Terry Jones wants to share the message of Christ, he is going to have a lot of repair work to do to demonstrate that Christ is about love. He came to die for those who read and obey the Koran. He gave up his life for those kinds of people. The problem with I Love Boobies bands is that some wearers don't really care much for healing sick breasts, they are just looking for the next pair of healthy boobies.

What are some less obvious ways that Christians send a wrong message about Jesus when they are trying to make the Gospel more remarkable?

Does discernment have to lead to condemnation?

Skye Jethani has an interesting article on Out of Ur. In Judge Not he discusses two different uses of the word judge in the Bible: to discern and to condemn. When Jesus says, "judge not or you will be judged," he certainly did not mean we should not use discernment. We are constantly told to be discerning in the Scriptures. The problem is, when we discern that something is evil or wrong, we often move straight to the judgment of condemnation. Does condemnation have to follow the discernment? What is an appropriate Christian response to discerning something is less than perfect?

Happy Labor Day: Cheers to being average!

Today we celebrate the American worker. So if you haven't lost your job in the last year. Cheers! If you aren't self employed. Cheers! If you don't have the ability to look into the future and discover through an entrepreneurial mind great ways to develop something new without being on shift work or doing the 9 to 5. Cheers! If you don't take leadership to a new level. Cheers!

Of course, Labor Day is the celebration of the vastly important average Joe. The common laborer is very important to our society. With out those people, nothing would get done. I love and respect and even hold up with a lot of esteem the average people of this world.

Still doesn't it seem ironic that we have a day to celebrate being average? Doesn't it seem narcissistic to have a day when people (laborers in this case) get together to celebrate themselves? 

Just wondering. I'm going to celebrate by spending the day with people who don't fit the definision of laborer. I didn't plan it that way it just happened. I don't know that we will ever once mention the average worker or labor unions in the course of our celebration. How about you?